Murphy's Laws As Applied to Wheeljack
by Seekerfemmedraca
Summary: The title is self explanitory.
1. Law 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing....Don't sue.  
  
If anything can go wrong, it will.  
  
Corollary A: it can.  
  
Corollary B: A the most inopportune time.  
  
  
*BOOM*  
  
The Ark's flooring shook with the shockwaves from the explosion. It had interrupted a video meeting Optimus Prime was having with the President of the United States.  
  
"What was that?" the President asked worriedly.  
  
Prime spoke into his comm.. "Report, anyone!"  
  
"*cough hack* Just a little *cough* mishap with some *hack* ammo I was working on, Optimus" Wheeljack's voice said.  
  
In the background, Ratchet started ranting.  
  
"Little mishap!? Wheeljack, you blew up half your lab, not to mention most of the motor relays in your arms are fried! For the third time this month!! I should weld you to one of the tables in Med-bay!!!"  
  
Prime cut the connection as Ratchet's rant grew louder and included some of the more... colorful words in his extensive language databanks.  
  
"I am sorry Mr. President, but it seems that we must cut this meeting short." Although a mask covered his face, Prime's voice conveyed a wry smile. "I have to make sure that my CMO doesn't dismember my Chief Engineer with that arc-welder of his."  
  
The President gave a short laugh and waved good-bye, cutting the videophone link. Prime just gave his head a small shake and made his way down to Med-Bay.  
  
A.N: Hehehe. I found a list of Murphy's Laws lying around and I had to write a fic. This is only the first part, so expect more from me, hopefully soon. 


	2. Law 2

Disclaimer: See Chapter One  
  
2. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.  
  
"Die Autobot scum!"  
  
Ratchet cursed as Ramjet strafed his position. He fired back at the jet, two of the shot making solid hits but not causing too much damage. He was covering Wheeljack as the inventor put the finishing touches on his newest gadget.  
  
"Any time now 'Jack!" the white medic shouted at the engineer.  
  
"Give me ten more minutes Ratch!" Wheeljack asked of him.  
  
"How about five?!" Ratchet fired on Ramjet again, cheering as the white seeker went down.  
  
Their comms crackled to life. "How's it going you two?" came Prime's voice.  
  
Jazz could be heard shouting in the background. "Yeah, we're actually getting our butts kicked over here!"  
  
"Done!" crowed the Lancia transformer.  
  
"Good, get that thing firing."  
  
"You got it Prime!"  
  
It was a couple of weeks after the last ammo incident. During repairs, Ratchet actually acted on his threat and welded Wheeljack to one of the med- tables, leaving him there for three days before Optimus finally got up the courage to ask the rampaging medic to release his 'patient'*. Wheeljack's newest creation was a beam designed to not only lock an opponent in vehicle mode, it also shorted out systems relating to weapons and flight.  
  
The scientist had been working on it for the past three days, double checking and triple checking his wiring and connections, making Sparkplug, Perceptor, and Chip verify his work. The Autobots were called to a nearby power plant that was being raided by the Decepticons and the senior staff decided it would be a good time to test the contraption out.  
  
Wheeljack strapped the thing onto his free shoulder and aimed at the nearest 'Con, who just happened to be Thrust, who was flying in to take over his companion's attack area.  
  
The sports car fired on the jet, getting a direct hit.  
  
"YES!"  
  
"What's happening!?" the red seeker cried in dismay as he started to plunge words the ground at more than one hundred miles an hour. He grew even more panicked as he realized that he could not transform to soften his landing even the tiniest bit. Thrust slammed into the ground, shaking the battlefield with the impact. Ratchet gave a cheer and continued to fire at the enemy.  
  
Wheeljack continued to fire the machine, downing Dirge, Frenzy, Lazorbeak, Blitzwing, Scavenger , Wildrider, and Brawl ( thus removing the Decepticon gestalts.) What he did not know was that there was a faulty wire inside the cannon, and that it was quickly growing more unstable with each shot.  
  
The last straw was Wheeljack firing on Soundwave. The wire fried, thus setting off a chain reaction within the gadget. It exploded grandly, taking out Wheeljack, Ravage, Rumble and Buzzsaw ( the three were sneaking up on the engineer from different angles.) Pieces of shrapnel flew everywhere, one particularly large piece wedging itself into Jazz's shoulder, causing him to fire accidentally at Sideswipe, which set off a chain of friendly fire among both sides. The list of the accidentally injured included Skywarp and Thundercracker, Longhaul, Soundwave, Sunstreaker, Red Alert, Grapple, Blaster, and Prowl.  
  
Both sides called a mutual retreat, as there were far too many injuries in both factions to continue the battle. The least injured helped the others get to safety, then emergency in-field repairs began. Ratchet ranted as he stopped major leaking in Wheeljack's upper body, the mech thankfully already in stasis lock. He patched up the other's wounds with temporary bandages and promised to repair them better after he stabilized Wheeljack more thoroughly at HQ.  
  
As those with only scratches made their way back home at a more leisurely pace, Bluestreak, looking battered and dull, made an observation.  
  
"How come only the more important guys on both sides got hit the most? Usually us front-line guys are the ones to get scrapped."  
  
"I think it has to do with a set of laws some guy came up with. They are very pessimistic if you ask me." A scratched and dented Bumblebee said in answer.  
  
"Where'd you get that tidbit from?" inquired Hound, whose front bumper was missing.  
  
"Spike did a project on them once, during high school. He had to present a report to the class and practiced with the Arial bots and I as the audience." A chorus of 'ohh's' greeted his explanation and then most chatter stopped as they finally reached the Ark's entrance.  
  
*I think even Optimus Prime would be wary to anger the guy who knows more about his anatomy than even he probably does. 


End file.
